Is God Really Big Enough?
by Mike Levenhagen
Homosexuality—it can be one of the most disturbing issues in a person’s life. You may be the one who needs to deal with it personally in your own life, or perhaps you have discovered that a loved one or good friend is dealing with the issue. In either case, we need to grapple with the question, "Is God big enough to deal with this?"
I think our initial response is, "Of course! I know God exists and that He is big enough to deal with this!" But as Frederick Buechner wrote in The Magnificent Defeat, "For what we need to know, of course, is not just that God exists, . . . but that there is a God right here in the thick of our day-by-day lives who may not be writing messages about himself in the stars but who in one way or another is trying to get messages through our blindness as we move around down here knee-deep in the fragrant muck and misery . . . of the world."
For those who discover a dear one has a homosexual issue, confusion often sets in. As in all other things, we have to decide whether we will mingle world philosophies and the wisdom of men with God’s will and heart revealed through the Bible. Especially for parents, this can be a very difficult process. We must be careful not to go to secular psychology for our answers. Depending on which theory we find, we are told that homosexuality is innate, that it is unchangeable and cruel to think otherwise; or the other extreme is we are told it is all the parents’ fault.
William and Candace Backus explain the foolishness of looking to secular psychology in their book What Did I Do Wrong? What Can I Do Now?:
Many parents who blame themselves for their child’s problems don’t realize much of what they’re telling themselves is out-of-date psychological theory and not fact at all. Most are unaware that theories, in fact, change regularly. It’s important, therefore, not to crucify yourself or anybody else on the basis of a psychological theory.
What is thought to be a sound psychological understanding today, might very well be outdated tomorrow. We do have the Word of God, the Bible, as the ultimate source for dealing with all of life’s issues. Can we trust that God has provided direction and encouragement in His unchanging Word? Is God really big enough to provide light on this issue of homosexuality. The answer is an unreserved, "Yes!"
I think First Corinthians, chapter 6, verses 9-11 explains God’s heart on the issue of homosexuality:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (NIV)
The Bible lists homosexuality among a long list of sins. It is not listed first as the worst sin, or last as the least sin. It is included with sins such as greed, drunkenness and gossip. But it also gives the hope for change—"such as these were some of you." God is not only a God of holiness and justice, but a God of grace and mercy. As a good physician does, He not only points to the problem, but wants to aid in its solution.
As we balance these two qualities, we come to a point where we cannot be simply judgmental or merely tolerant. We can boldly love and accept our loved one while not compromising our values. We are able to love our family member or friend because of their struggle, not in spite of it. We can come to the point that we see we have a unique opportunity to bring the aroma of Christ into their life—to shed the light of the Gospel on their path.
God does not make an individual homosexual; but an individual doesn’t just wake up one morning and decide to be attracted to the same sex, either. As we wrestle with such a complex problem, we are forced to deal with questions such as: "How can it be fair that my loved one struggles with homosexuality, while others don’t?" and "If God is a loving and involved God, why didn’t He protect me from having to deal with this?" and "Why won’t God change my loved one?" and finally, "What does it mean to love my child/spouse/friend? How can I extend God’s love, sometimes I don’t even want to love!"
It seems the easier route would be to either accept the fact that our loved ones are just gay and change our values, or to cast them out of our lives until they are ready to conform to our values. What both of those approaches really say, however, is that God is not big enough to help us deal with the situation. We can refuse our calling to be that aroma of God’s character in our loved one’s life, but we all wind up losing out on the chance to grow more intimate with God.
Paul wrote in Philippians, chapter 4, verses 4-7,
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."(NIV)